With my high school 15 year reunion looming around the corner, several of my classmates have been reconnecting on facebook. Our virtual reunion has been fun and people have been posting pictures from the past and relieving memories of favorite (and least favorite) teachers, boyfriends and girlfriends, and school activities. I don't remember my high school having many various cliques; it was more like there were the "popular people" and everyone else. I was in the latter group and although I had so much fun in high school, I still experienced feelings of uncertainty, low self-esteem, and teenhood angst. But I'm sure everyone did, even the "popular" kids. Graduating from high school was somewhat of relief in that I know longer felt I had to worry about my status in life. It was nice to let that go.
Anyway, it's been nice to catch up with people and I've been fascinated with finding out where their lives have taken them. As a teenager, I never pictured what my life would like in my 30's. I knew I'd have children and I hoped I be married but that was about it. I'm fortunate that both are true for me. What has surprised me is how many of my female classmates don't work and choose to stay home with their children. Don't get me wrong... I don't think it's a bad thing. I definitely don't want to start a conversation about mommy wars. (For the record, I don't think it matters if a mom works or stays home with her child(ren). It's the time they spend together and the values they share that matter.) I think I'm just surprised at how many stay at home moms there are from my high school. It seems strange to me. I suppose if I could continue to live the lifestyle I have, I would probably stop working too. Actually, that's not true. I think I'm the type of person that needs to work; that needs to have a life outside of my family. And I am materialistic so I'd want the extra income. (And I believe everyone is materialistic but differ in their level of materialism.) I'm digressing though. My point is I'm a bit surprised at the stay at home moms but they are the girls in high school that were so smart. I'm ashamed to say that becuase really, what does intelligence have to do with anything. But why is it that its the women staying home and not the men? And why do I feel like its a waste of intelligence to have those former classmates at home instead of working? I don't think that about other stay at home moms that I know ie, those that I didn't know in high school. So why is this so surprising to me?Anyway, I need to end this but I want this blog to be more then my ramblings so I hope to write a recap of our family vacation to NYC that we returned from a few days ago. We crammed a lot into 5 days and even if no one ever reads this blog, I want to have it recorded somewhere. :)
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3 comments:
hey... cool... another blog to read... :-)
This post left me thinking about how self-righteous I used to be in my judgment of one side or the other on this debate. I'm not sure why, but I thought it was my place to say that women should stay home and raise their kids.... Which was completely stupid of me to think, as my own mother worked out of necessity.
We're very fortunate that my wife can and does stay home with our kids (mostly, she works one day a week). But also, she wants to stay home with them, in spite of her master's degree in school administration and type 75 certification---she could be a school administrator or principal! Sometimes I wish she would go work and let me be a stay at home dad. :-)
(I often find that the things I am self righteous about are later used, by God I think, to put me in my place. This is the only way I seem to learn to stop being so arrogant all the time!)
Financially, however, its often about the cost of work. If my wife worked our income would double, and our taxes would probably triple. Then we'd have to pay for daycare, and if you live in the Chicago area, that's a big chunk of $$$$. At some point it becomes not worth it to have both parents working.
Not sure what the point is. I'm rambling too.... :-)
last and final thought: you may not have been in the popular crowd, but you were one of the "cool" kids!
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