I have to give Cedar Point some credit. They were very responsive and helpful when I went crying to them about losing my brand new phone. I gather they are very experienced with these sorts of incidents. When I filed my claim and told them which coaster, they asked if it was lost "in the tunnel". Cuz apparently LOTS of phones are lost in the tunnel of the Magnum. They promised to mail me the phone if they found it.
And of course the day I went to purchase a new phone - exactly one week after losing it - I received a package in the mail from Cedar Point. I wasn't home but the Polack was excited. The package obviously contained a phone and since we'd just bought a new one, he knew he'd get the old one. His hopes were quickly shattered when he saw the condition of the phone. (Which was also shattered - ha ha!)
And the best part? It's not even my phone. Someone else must have experienced the same fate as I. Mine is still MIA but I suspect it's found its way into a new home.